Hey all, long time. You may have noticed a small silence on here of late, sorry about that. With Sammy very busy with Sewing Quarter TV and me busy at The Lightbox, there has been a little less productivity of late.
But something which has also hit me hard is some confidence in my own creativity. Working everyday making for the workshops I deliver for the adults and children means that I have lots of ideas running around in my head, but for some reason, the execution just doesn't seem to be following.
I have been painting, making and creating over the last few months at work and things just don't seem to come out how I imagine them. My imagination is way better than my abilities perhaps. There really is nothing worse as someone who has always been creative, than to find out that its all not just working out the way that you want. I have even attempted to make several things over the last few months which I have done just because, so that I could take the pressure off perhaps - nope that didn't work.
Now this is not a pity party and I am definitely not looking for any compliments, I just wanted to write down how I feel and so if someone else out there is thinking the same, then there is also me who hears you! Now, I know that there are lots of people out there who are much better at making then me and also those who struggle to get any creative thoughts and so I guess I should be happy that I am still having the ideas. I think that the execution part is always something I have struggled with, even at uni, the lovely Sammy made a couple of my model pieces for my final work - as I couldn't quite get them right.
Or maybe it is just more down to the materials I am using, I seem to be ok at papercutting, but even a submission rejection resulted in me spiraling even more down the 'I can't make anything, hole'. Most Paper based creativity seems to be ok. But the sewing part is a struggle, simple things are fine, I can make a Christmas stocking or travel wallet fine, but as the last few weeks prove, a animal shape I cannot do.
Then there is also the fact that some days you just can't make anything, nothing goes right. Then other days, you are hitting it out of the park when it comes to making. I do love to experiment and try new things and I am lucky that due to my day job I can paint, create with clay or junk modelling, use pastels or draw at least once a week. But sometimes its frustrating when you have to make something and it doesn't go right and then I have to show that to children or adults as a sample - when really I just want to throw it away. Nothing like having to show something you are not happy with to really hit home how much you hate it.
So, after all that lovely ramble of getting my thoughts out there, how do you cope when it doesn't go right? or you just can't seem to make it look how you want? I am sure I am not alone, but being surrounded by beautifully creative people all the time, sometimes makes you feel that you might be the only one not getting it.
H,xxx
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